A friend told me recently that when you and your spouse start taking separate vacations, “everyone knows there’s a problem.” I hadn’t really looked at it that way. But after fifteen years of the same cycles, with the same events occurring in closer and closer proximity, things start to wear on you. After a year of trying to manage work and kids and their schools and doctors’ appointments and bills and health insurance when you’re the only one in the house who is employed, things start to wear on you. One person can only manage so much for themselves, let alone three additional people.
A few weeks ago, a line was drawn in the sand. Feelings were shared in as non-accusatory a way as possible. Promises were made. Nothing has changed since then. But I don’t know how to manage that too.