Not Exactly the Poster Child for A “Happy” Pregnancy

Okay, so I guess it wasn’t all in my head yesterday. I woke up this morning with a fetus in my lap. The baby has dropped down so low it looks like I have a lumpy beer gut. Walking creates so much pressure on my pelvis that it feels like pins and needles in my crotch. She’s also so low that every little movement is a surprise. I mean, like, a bit of a shock. It sends these little electric zings straight into my bladder and I have to pee as soon as she stops moving.

At the OB appointment this afternoon, we were told that I’m completely thinned out, “mostly ripe,” and she could physically feel the top of the baby’s head. Let me tell you – that was NOT comfortable. If nothing happens between today and my next appointment on Thursday (the 18th, not tomorrow), the doctor said we can talk about an induction. She said there’s no reason to rush it unless I go 5 or more days overdue, or if the baby seems distressed in anyway.
I don’t know for sure if an induction is something I would want to do. I know I want the kid out of there, but if things are moving along the way they have been, I don’t see why I wouldn’t have her by the due date.

I can imagine getting to the point next week where I’m begging and pleading to have the kid removed in any way that is humanly possible. I feel a little bit worse each day. I’m a little more irritable, a little more bloated, a little more pained, going to the bathroom a little more frequently, every day. But that doesn’t mean I want to be hooked up to an IV with Pitocin and an epidural.

I’ve spent all of my adult life and a significant portion of this pregnancy convinced childbirth will be the most horrific thing I ever experience. But, despite feeling fat, gross, bloated, and tired, and despite the kidney stones and infection, things have progressed well and normally for a woman who’s pregnant for the first time (full term, anyway) at 33. Maybe I’m too hard on myself. Maybe it won’t be as bad as I’ve worked myself up about it? It was kind of that way with the dentist. However, I’m not sure you can compare getting a cavity filled with pushing a watermelon through a lemon.


2 thoughts on “Not Exactly the Poster Child for A “Happy” Pregnancy

  1. Okay, as a gay man, I’ll confess to being a little creeped out that your doctor refers to you as “ripe.” Makes it sound like you’re a tangerine as opposed to a person.

  2. Next time you have an appointment you should come over to see us. You can actually get here via a tunnel practically attached to Labor & Delivery.

    I wish I could have avoided the induction. I don’t know if it made my labor worse, but what I hated about it was feeling chained to the bed b/c of the IV. I had pictured walking through my labor, and that gets difficult once you’re on IV and of course impossible once you have the epidural.

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