My Frozen Cutlet Friend

The other night I had a ridiculous dream. I was responsible for the care and maintenance of a girl named Ryan, with whom I’d attended high school, because during the winter she had chosen to be deep-frozen. Not to be confused with cryogenic freezing, this was merely deep freezing in a walk-in that was kept at zero degrees. It also happened to be in the freezer we have at work, which is why I’m guessing I was put in charge of her maintenance. She was stored on a very large metal cookie sheet, covered in plastic wrap.

At one point, I got really upset because someone wanted to visit her, so I was expected to wake her up, which was impossible. Although she was clearly alive throughout the whole thing, I was not supposed to try and rouse her while she was “hibernating.” I kept patting her face through the plastic wrap and repeating her name, but she wouldn’t respond.

Another time I checked on her in the freezer, I noticed a mouse wandering in and out of the shelves. I was horrified by that, but couldn’t get the mouse out of the walk-in.

And yet another time, she had been sliced up into a series of cutlets, like pork chops and ribs and things. I assumed this was to store her easier and make room for other things in the freezer. In the dream, I wasn’t frightened that she was being kept in pieces, because I knew she was fine. At some point when it warmed up, she’d be pushed back together and would thaw into her old self.

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