Yesterday morning I woke up with a dull pain in my lower left side, on the back. As the morning progressed, so did the pain. It finally got to the point where, once again, I couldn’t stand up straight, I felt nauseous, and the pain was more like a spasm; like someone was stabbing me in the back and the lower left abdomen.
I called some people, some nice people, who covered the rest of my shift yesterday and today, and I called my doctor’s office. They asked a million questions (did I have a fever? No. Was I able to urinate? Yes, a little bit. What was my pain on a scale of 1-10? About a 6 or 7.). They told me to up the amount of Tylenol 3 I was taking, drink a ton of water, and just rest. I’m calling it the “pee and pray” method. That would pretty much sum up the extent of my treatment. But it’s starting to concern me to the point that I’m worried about my job. If I can’t stand on my feet for extended periods of time, how can I work a job that requires this of me?
Charlie and I had a discussion last night about the possibility of these stones recurring again. And again, and again . . . and then what happens? Can we work out something with the owners of my company where I pay the full amount of my health insurance, regardless of how many hours I can work each week (rather than paying even more for private insurance that would require me to find all new doctors)? Can we even afford to do that without the full paychecks I normally receive every two weeks? This definitely puts the whole buying-a-house thing on hold.
When Sarah returns from maternity leave, I may just end up having to do something like this. I believe I’ve had three different attacks over the course of the past ten or so days. I’m hoping, of course, that this is it. If it isn’t, though, I need to think ahead.
Cavan told me when he had his stones, the nurse at the hospital told him about a friend of hers who suffered from kidney stones every single time she got pregnant. Five times. Why, in god’s name, would anyone want to go through this for five different pregnancies? But it gave me some satisfaction to know that she’d given birth to all her children and they were fine. The more UTIs, kidney problems, infections, and whatnot you have, the greater the chances of complications and pre-term labor. At this point, we’re not even “viable,” so if something were to happen, the baby wouldn’t survive. Not something I want weighing down on me.
This f-ing blows. I just want to feel normal again. Get through this pregnancy, these last four months, and not freak out.