Pissy Phase

I’m going through one of those phases (and by “phases,” I probably mean “hormonal changes”) where I’m really irritable about little things. This girl in my Buddhist philosophy class was texting nonstop for an hour today, right next to me. Her acrylic nails were going clickety-clickety-click, tappity-tappity-tap the whole time and it drove me right out of my skin. Ironically, we were discussing the Eightfold Path and I was trying desperately not to violate any of those rules. I couldn’t think of a single nice way to ask her to stop (right speech) and by even allowing myself to be irritated, I was not practicing right thought, understanding, or mindfulness. And, what I really wanted was to rip the damn phone away from her, toss it on the floor, and tear out her fake French manicure. Clearly I’m nowhere near Enlightenment.

Driving home I got cut off twice trying to merge onto 65. The other drivers were in the wrong lane, but apparently couldn’t stand to be behind two cars, so they waited until the last possible minute to veer over, sans turn signal, of course, which sent me into a screaming fit.

I just let the dogs out and Trinity walked in circles for five full minutes before coming to a complete stop right on the sidewalk and absolutely refusing to move. It took her another five minutes just to squat and pee.

I’m pissed at the mosquitoes for biting me so much.

I’m mad that I worked from 8:30 until almost 4 yesterday and I have to go back in tomorrow at noon and close.

I’m irritated that my anthropology professor is making us do so much math and my homework is really hard for that class.

I’m ticked off that Hot Box Pizza charged our card $85 for an order we didn’t make, and the pizza we did order never got delivered and the account hasn’t been refunded yet.

I’m also annoyed with myself for focusing on all the negatives when I have so many things I could be positive about. Mel came by the coffeeshop on her way home from work today and spent an hour and a half just talking to me when she was probably starving and just wanted to get home and relax. I was invited to a Dharma discussion at the Indianapolis Zen Center on Thursday, the Indianapolis Meatout on Saturday, a fundraiser on Wednesday, and lunch on Sunday. Due to work, at least two of those things are going to have to be cut out of my schedule . . . another reason I’m feeling pissy.

Tomorrow’s a new day, though, right? I’ll take my assignment and make my co-worker Rebecca, the one who just got a degree in anthropology, help me with my homework. for now I’m going to veg on the couch, make myself do some bedtime yoga, and get a good night’s sleep.


3 thoughts on “Pissy Phase

  1. I was just reading blog rolls and couldn’t resist your name. (Love it.)
    I’m not a Buddhist or anything, but isn’t there some (I won’t swear, I just met you) stuff about being mindful? (Actually, being drunk and rereading your post, I just confirmed my dumb question).
    Anyway, it’s pretty easy to get annoyed or hate/dislike others when everyone is so self-absorbed and has no concept of manners or common courtesy.
    I don’t even think we have to respect or like others, but if we can extend courtesy when driving or being a customer or serving others, etc. we’d all probably be happier.
    What’s my point? I forget, but I agree with your post.

  2. I was not starving, and I really enjoyed our conversation. I have to get by that coffeeshop more often. I found it very relaxing.

    This is probably totally obnoxious, but maybe you are pregnant right now. My most consistent pregnancy symptom is being utterly pissed off at most people most of the time– way worse than PMS has ever been.

  3. Hot Box pissed me off recently, too. Did you know that if you place your oder online, the order goes to Canada, where a guy puts it onto a form and faxes it to them? Which renders you fucked if their fax machine is out of paper.

    Also, if you take vitamin B12, mosquitoes will not bite you. Yes, really.

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