The Local Flavor: Inappropriate Sexual Remarks

Remember when I told you about the man who hates tattoos on women? Well, he was back today, and got his first gander at the new octopus on my left arm. I swear to whatever you want me to, people, this is exactly what he said: “I don’t think I could ever make love to you because I would be too busy reading everything on your body.”

I pretended like I didn’t hear him. Him, the 70-plus-year-old, obese, sweaty, pasty misogynist with the cirrhotic, W.C.Fields-ish nose. He repeated himself again, word for word, at which point I responded with what I call my “Grandma Switch.” You know, the part of you that won’t let you scream or swear at a person because they’re old, or because you’re at work and you don’t want to get fired? I said, “Yeah, you should see my back. It gives my husband a lot to look at when he’s behind me.”

Yes, that was inappropriate, too, but not nearly as inappropriate as my initial reaction would have been, where I wanted to say, “Yeah, that’s not really going to be a problem, because I would never fuck you, you disgusting old pervert.”

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3 thoughts on “The Local Flavor: Inappropriate Sexual Remarks

  1. What an incredibly inappropriate jackass! Any way that your boss would ban him from the store? You should not have to serve him after a remark like that. Seething for you.

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