The Local Flavor Part One Million: Hating Women with Tattoos

Last night I closed with the new girl, Carrie. She got her first taste of the woman-hater, an older “gentleman” who directs local plays and absolutely despises women with tattoos. When he comes in he has something negative to say to each of the females I work with, but those of us with tattoos seem to bother him the most. He once told a girl in one of his plays that she might as well “cut to the chase and become a stripper” because she acted and looked “so slutty.” I don’t know what his sexual preference is, but if he’s straight I imagine he has a hard time getting laid.

He motioned me over to his table and said he had something for me. Immediately I knew I wasn’t going to like it. He pointed to an ad on the back of the NUVO, our local independent newspaper, for laser tattoo removal. I laughed when I saw it and said “Thanks, but I won’t be needing that.”

“Why not?” He asked. I told him because I had no plans for getting any of mine removed.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
I said it was expensive, painful, and I don’t have any tattoos that I want to have taken off. And, just to irritate him, I told him that I have a lot more that aren’t visible. But anyone else who’s had something done that they want removed is fine by me.
“You need to find yourself a husband,” he said.
“That’s okay. I already have one.”
“A rich one. That way he can pay to have all those ugly things taken off.”
“My husband has a few tattoos, himself, and he likes mine, so that’s not going to be an issue.”
“Well, I guess you’ll have something to talk about with your grandchildren.”
“We’re not planning on having any children, so I think grandkids are going to be impossible.”

This is practically the same conversation he’s had with both Audrey and our former employee Sarah P., who has since moved to go to grad school. I don’t know how many times he plans on having it with one of us. I’m guessing until someone breaks down, starts crying, and admits he’s right: we’ve made a terrible mistake in ruining our bodies with these tattoos and will he give us the number for that laser removal center?


6 thoughts on “The Local Flavor Part One Million: Hating Women with Tattoos

  1. He can SUCK IT. If only there were an ad for Nosey Motherfucker Removal on the back of the Nuvo.

    P.S. I cannot stand driving behind a truck with a ladder in it/on it.

  2. What a fuckwad.

    I’d be tempted to say, hey, is that hair growing out of your ears? That’s disgusting. Do you want the number of an electrolysis professional? Or whatever other things I could find on his person to berate him about, just to redirect the conversation.

  3. What the fuck. Moron. And here I thought the battle for Indiana’s rightwing nutjobs to be fighting was to make sure the gays don’t marry and to revoke reproductive freedom for woman! Apparently tattoos (and alcohol) are on the list as well.

    And PSS to you and Annette – I think it was maybe 5-6 months ago on 65 south of Franklin and something came loose on a semi with a bunch of ginormous pipes and they flew off and hit several cars. I also don’t like being behind anything with long, pointy objects that could impale me or my car.

  4. Ewww, what’s it to him anyway? What an old turd. You should go get some temporary tattoos (some are really cool and look real) and put them on just to fuck with him 😉

    I want to get a tattoo someday, just not sure of what?

  5. Pingback: The Local Flavor: Inappropriate Sexual Remarks « Miss Anthropy

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