Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Complaints

This one’s for Eee who didn’t like all the giving of the thanks posts.

Last night I had a dream that I’d been in a really bad accident and, as a result, had to have my jaw wired shut. This wasn’t the frustrating part. In the dream my manager put up a sign at the espresso bar saying “Courtney cannot chat with you as her jaw is wired shut. Please ask only yes or no questions.” And even though I kept pointing to the sign people refused to read it and kept asking me things.

In real coffeeshop life this morning a regular yelled at Audrey for no reason. Poor Audrey. This always happens to her. People get pissed about something another employee did (or didn’t do, in this case) and they come in the next day all fired up about it and, invariably, the person they snap at is her. This time it was a woman whose son worked there a couple of years ago for, like two months, before he went to college. He didn’t bother to mention that he would be going to school in the fall until a few days before he left. Annie wasn’t thrilled but he wasn’t exactly a go-getter, either.

Well, his mom decided that she’s owed something, with her son having been an employee and all. She gets pissed about the stupidest things and just loves bitching about it.
This morning it was “I have been a customer here for five years and I have never been so insulted in my life.” Apparently yesterday evening she’d come in to find “a line out the door” and only one person working. The other, she spat, “was hiding in the kitchen the whole time. I finally turned around and left. This is totally unacceptable.” Of course Audrey is standing there, not saying a word, because she has no idea how to respond. She finally says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t even know who was working last night, and maybe she should say something to them? Which infuriated the woman further.

Granted, she has actually been coming there since before her son started working, but she’s always rude, and she never tips. Whatever reason someone had for “hiding out” in the kitchen last night, I’m sure it was (probably?) valid. But poor Audrey was in tears afterwards because the woman was really, really nasty.

Today in general was kind of a nasty customer day. I don’t know if people are pissed because it’s Officially Christmastime and they’re out at four in the morning standing in line to buy Bratz dolls for their kids on sale or what. It’s not my fault. But we were really slow, which made everyone’s rudeness stand out all that much more. At least when it’s busy you don’t have time to internalize it.

I don’t know how many people asked me to turn on the fireplace. This is a major pet peeve of mine because when they ask, I’m usually sweating my ass off in front of the espresso bar to begin with and, no, I do not want to turn on the fireplace that’s right in front of me that’s so far from any tables I doubt you’d feel the heat from it anyway. But it wouldn’t matter because they have the gas turned off while they’re remodeling.
The first person who asked was the first person to come in this morning. I think she thought I was lying to her. When I told her it was turned off until they tiled it, but she gave me a really suspicious look and said “Well, it would be awfully nice if you could turn it on.”
And despite the fact there’s a sign on the door that has our hours on it, she still walked in and yelled “Are you even open?” It sounded like an accusation. Although I’m not sure why she asked, because it was about quarter after six and I wanted to shout back, “Why the f–k do you think we have the door unlocked?”

Then, “Jelly Guy” came in and made his regular stupid joke that he hasn’t made in a couple of months, about how he wants jelly with his bagel, which he knows we don’t have, but finds it exceptionally hilarious to ask for jelly every single time. When people just stopped responding to that at all, he started asking if we were allowed to throw away his jelly containers if he brought in his own. But he was really saying to be a dick and it really tickled him to do it. He stopped doing it for a while but for some reason decided today was the day to start up again. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and turned around to walk away from him. I know he thought I was being a bitch but I honestly could care less.

But sometime did tip me for twenty bucks for the holidays. That was pretty cool.

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One thought on “Return to Our Regularly Scheduled Complaints

  1. We dropped by and bought some beans on Sunday, and the lack of fire did not make me hateful or disappointed. Suspicious Lady can suck it.

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