When Cavan left yesterday evening, it was very much like he was just going to his parents’ house for the night and would be back the next day. It was all
“Okay, have a good time.”
“See you later.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”
“I never do.”
And with a ruffling of the dogs’ heads he was out the door.
Charlie and I went upstairs and looked at the new spare room and sunroom that would be ours to fill. It felt empty. I wasn’t too emotional since Cavan and I weren’t all that close and things have been a bit weird since he first decided to apply to the Spain program. I’m not going to say I’m “happy” he’s gone. I’m also not going to pretend that it hasn’t been difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with my partner all this time we’ve had Cavan or Kate living with us.
But when Alvy came slinking in with his ears back and his tail down, I started to cry. All I could think was Alvy looked really confused walking around Cavan’s now-empty room. Was he thinking he lost his buddy? Was he upset in some sort of canine way? I promised myself I wouldn’t do some anti-Cesar Millan thing and project my worries over Alvy’s loneliness on to him, making him even more neurotic.
Charlie and I decided to take both the dogs for their third walk, just to keep Alvy occupied. I’m sure pretty soon his little doggie brain will forget who Cavan was, or at least forget that he was expecting Cavan to come back.
Maybe we’re both a little bit jealous that he gets to do this and we don’t. But I think it’s more like that ship has sailed. Maybe setting up the DVR to record all of the NBC shows on Thursday nights (but not “ER” or “Scrubs.” I hate both of those shows) isn’t as thrilling as blogging from Barcelona. But there is something to be said for hooking up your own utilities, owning a toaster, and getting your dogs’ vaccinations on time every year. Being responsible can be boring to some people, but I find comfort in the semi-predictability of my little life. Things will probably change drastically again in less than two years, so I’ll continue to enjoy this while I can.