I’m trying to figure out how to express my feelings without coming off as though I don’t appreciate what I have or that I don’t wish my friends personal happiness. Either way I sound like I’m whining.
Essentially, my manager Annie is leaving in a few weeks for a job that will offer her about the same money and, at the same time, a more flexible schedule and more time with her daughter. This is very good for her. The other side of the same coin is that I feel like I’m going to be pretty unhappy at work when she leaves. Tips, paycheck, close to home, yadda, yadda, I know. I’m very lucky to have a job this flexible and her leaving shouldn’t influence my satisfaction at work.
But it does. She’s one of three of us who regularly work the bar, and practically the only person there who cleans. But she deserves better and certainly deserves time to be a mom, so it’s not like I’m that selfish.
I’m not going to be defeatist about it. I’m going to first see who gets hired, how they’re trained, and how they work out. Then I’ll see how many extra hours I’m asked to work after classes start. My schedule this semester is a bit odd and it will only get worse as I get closer to graduating, the higher level courses being offered less frequently. And then I’ll see how many hours I spend on the bar every morning. If these things add up to an amount I somehow tally as insufferable, then I guess I need to revisit my employment options.
Just because Annie is quitting does not necessarily mean I follow, but I do know that both Audrey and I are going to feel as though we’re getting the brunt of the bar, and neither of us wants that. We should all be capable of doing equal amounts of work since we’ve all been there a year, two years, or longer.
But that doesn’t make it true. I guess we’ll just have to see how things play out.