One Last Time

Tomorrow is my new official quit-smoking date. I quit a few of months ago for about four weeks and then started back up off and on for a few more weeks after that. Then, for whatever reason (laziness, mostly), I just fell back into it full time again.
I believe I am committed to doing it this time. No more “Well, maybe I’ll just have one . . .” then feel guilty because I bought a pack and it’d be a waste of money to throw them away so I just finish ’em anyway.

I felt so much better. I could breathe easier, I was doing yoga every morning, my hair and skin was cleaner. I took a lot of deep breaths. It helped that, at the time, it was absolutely freezing outside and I had very little interest in standing on the porch shivering for some nicotine. It helps to quit now because it’s stifling outside and it’s only going to get worse.

I know a lot of people say the patch doesn’t work. But it really did for me. You’ll argue “No, it didn’t. You started smoking again.” But when I had the patch on I was okay after about a week and it got easier. It was the whole not-putting-it-back-on-in-the-morning-because-I-thought-I’d-be-okay-just-having-one part that ruined it.

I think how I failed last time was going to a bar. I just don’t think I can drink at all and keep myself from having a smoke for a while. Part of it, too, was working with a group of people in which half of them smoke. Then there’s all the time I spend at home, rewarding myself when I complete something with a cigarette. I made a list of reasons why I do it (boredom, rewards, booze, work) and then a list of things to do in place of smoking (wash my hands, clean a room, read, take a walk, do yoga), as well as a list of reasons why I really want to quit (obvious). I put that on the fridge and made a smaller version to keep in my purse.

I’m telling you all of this because, the last time I quit, I was really proud of myself and I wrote about it in here. I’m embarrassed that I started back up and I want to be held accountable next time. I just ask that you support me in my efforts to quit smoking because that’s what it told me to say in the little booklet that came with the nicotine patches.

Here we go!

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