We're All Vile Little Pigs

I go back and forth as to whether or not I want to write in here about stuff that’s going on in the world today. I don’t think any of you who read this and know me, even in passing, have any doubt as to my political, religious, or social beliefs (or, sometimes, lackthereof). There are things in the world that bother me on a daily basis and I admit that I am often guilty of choosing to look the other way because I have an innate ability to absorb the unpleasantness of certain situations and have them consume me. I’ve said often that there is a fine line with me between being informed and blissfully ignorant. For a long time it was my personal mission to be as informed as I could about the things that bothered me and I tried – often in vain – to make whatever difference I could. Most of the time I ended up feeling depressed and disappointed about the world around me because it seemed like I couldn’t get other people to feel passionately about anything enough to say or do anything about it.

I’m not saying that I’ve stopped completely caring about the world and the people around me. What I mean is that if I don’t write about the tragedies of the world every day or the state of the country and city we live in, it’s because I choose instead to focus on trivial things for the moment that I’m writing and stop trying to think about the negatives.

Charlie said a few weeks ago that he’s noticed a change in my attitude. That I don’t always live so much in every moment and I tend to obsess less than I used to about bothersome things. And yet, for whatever reason, I am deeply troubled by the attitude – of all things – surrounding Alec Baldwin’s angry voicemail message to his daughter. I refuse to give any link to a copy of the message because I’m so tired of hearing about it.

I’ve been called much worse than a “vile pig” by my own father. My dad has called me a bitch, among other things, which I think is about the worst name you could call your eleven year-old. And yet he did, and I still love him. It hurt my feelings at the time, and clearly I didn’t forget about it. I won’t go into all the details of my childhood at this point because I don’t want to sound as if I’m giving you the impression I was abused. But I guaran-fucking-tee you that Ireland Basinger-Baldwin is treated a helluva lot better than I was.
I don’t expect Baldwin’s daughter to forgive him any time soon, nor do I expect them ever to have any kind of normal relationship until she’s an adult and completely separated from her mother.

There’s some stuff somewhere about people living in glass houses . . . Occasionally I’ve heard a sympathetic comment on Alec’s side. Then I hear people saying “Oh! I would never, ever, ever say such a horrible thing to any of my children!” Bullshit. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve all done and said nasty, terrible things to the people we care about who have been hurt. I try not to have regrets, but there are some things I’ve said to Charlie, my dad, my mom, my sister, former boyfriends and girlfriends that I wish I could take back. At least the entire United States didn’t hear those things and judge me on just that one instant when I was pissed off.

I’m not a part of that family, but I think it’s pretty clear who’s being alienated and who’s doing the alienating. Regardless of what words Baldwin used or whether I like watching “Beetlejuice” or “30 Rock,” I feel terribly, terribly sorry for Alec. I wish people would leave him alone. I wish Kim Basinger would stop being such a psychotic bitch and let the man just see his daughter. I wish she would not have released that tape for the entire world to stop talking about Virginia Tech. When we focus on who said what and how they said it, we forget about the things we really need to pay attention to. Does CNN not recall that we’re in the middle of a war?

It’s not a matter of putting the horrible aside for a moment so that we can think about something else. It’s always something else with this country. The minute one thing happens, whether it’s Imus or Bush or Pelosi or Baldwin or some rich little white girl who goes missing, we’re all over it, all the time, every day, until the next thing happens to catch our attention.

I don’t give a shit what anyone says. When I heard Alec Baldwin say “You wouldn’t dream of doing something like this to your mother,” any sympathy I could have had for their daughter or his ex-wife went out the window. She’s eleven. She knows exactly what’s going on and I don’t doubt at all that she just loves playing her parents off one another. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I learned her mother rewards her when she alienates her father. It sounds to me like Kim and their daughter, both, need a severe spanking.


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