Bad Everything Day

I was looking to update my MySpace page the other day with newer photos of myself when I discovered I have none. Hardly anyone ever takes photos of me as I’m somewhat camera shy and I feel like I don’t photograph very well. When I see images of myself I often cringe. I feel like my skin is in really bad shape; I have a lot of permanent blemishes and some acne scars that I hate. Not to mention some odd little hairs popping up here and there.

I didn’t start getting acne until I was in my twenties and I never appreciated my perfect skin when I was younger because I was too busy hating myself. Now I feel like most everything’s in order except for the stuff on my neck and face. Oh, and a few extra pounds which are shedding nicely, thanks to the daily yoga.
I know for a fact that some people think I have “hickies,” which is truly horrifying. Matt at work once asked me about it. At that point I’d been closing with him for months. I asked did he think I had the same hickies in the same place all this time?

I suppose you can blame the preceding paragraphs on PMS. I just feel fugly today.

So the whole SJR-7 thing . . . left a comment and told me that in Indiana you don’t have to be legally separated for six months (I thought I’d read that in some paperwork Charlie and I got during our rough patch a few years ago), you just have to pay court fees for a divorce. This was somewhat of a relief, but also somewhat scary. Charlie and I discussed it a little bit. Are we willing to go through with it? Is it a vain gesture? Will it make any difference or just make us feel better, meanwhile significantly lowering our tax return next year? Hey, I gotta ask these things.On a government Web site I found this page, nine steps to dissolving your marriage. I had no idea it was that involved. But it looks like you can waive the final hearing and some other things. It also seems you have to wait 60 days after petitioning for dissolution before filing the waiver.

The last thing I want to do is appear to others that I take my relationship lightly. Charlie and I have definitely had our ups and downs — being involved in a marriage is hard work if you want things to benefit both people. Divorce is not on my list of top priorities. We almost split up once about three years ago because we are so incredibly different, and I don’t want to mess up a good thing. I know I can’t imagine being with anyone else (who in the world would eat anything I cooked and put in front of him or her?) But I also know that I feel very strongly that I don’t want my (or anyone else’s) relationship to be dictated by religious figureheads and falsely pious politicians who, themselves, clearly do not take marriage that seriously. For all the thrice-divorced Congresspeople who are backing this issue I say shame on you. If marriage is so sacred, divorce should be illegal, not domestic rights and property issues. No one should be allowed to file lawsuits against companies that offer partnership benefits, but that’s what’s happening right now in several states, including our neighbor, Ohio.

So, if you’re a single person in a committed relationship, or a gay or lesbian (or otherwise) person, how do you feel? If SJR-7 affects you, personally, do you think dissolving our legal marriage would be a matter of taking a stand against legalized discrimination, or do you think we’re just being ostentatious?


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