Losing Sunday

It was twelve – noon, not midnight – when I passed out today. I hadn't been drinking, wasn't at a party, and certainly wasn't celebrating New Year's Eve. I was suffering with my (so far) four-day-long migraine and it finally came to a head this morning around ten.

I was only awake for four hours today before I had to lie back down. It sucks. I feel like I've lost a lot of time this past week. Charlie had to cancel some plans that I was looking forward to, and I think my guilt made things worse. I had a couple of dry-heaving sessions after he came up to tell me he'd called Melody, but no actual vomiting. I've been close to just collapsing a couple of times this week and he kept telling me to take things easy. I feel guilty if I go to bed too early, take a nap, don't do the dishes, ignore the laundry, keep postponing plans. I couldn't exactly get out of work and really needed to cover a few shifts. If nothing else, for some cash.

I finally got out of bed, feeling a bit like I'd had the shit kicked out of me, and started looking up home remedies. Several Web sites suggested you keep a diary of your headaches so you can at least determine what triggers them. If nothing else, you can have an explanation of what happens for your doctor.

I used to think I was “lucky” not be a barfing migraine person, but now I get that, as well. I have the usual symptoms you hear about plus: pounding in my head so hard that it rattles my teeth. Cold chills followed by hot flashes. Dizziness, nausea, dry-heaves. My eyes feel dry and bruised and sort of like a tiny person is inside my head trying to push my eyeballs out. You just have to shut down. And then afterwards I have an unusual amount of energy. I feel sort of hyper and sick at the same time. I also get a difficult-to-explain sort of foreshadowing of them. I can tell a few hours, if not a day, in advance, but I can't quit put my finger on what that sense is.

Something else I read online said that it's recommended you try to let it “run its course,” which I didn't do. I kept having caffeine, or taking 800mg of Ibuprofen, or an Excedrin or two. If I'd only exercise more or cut salt out of my diet somewhat (I'm a salt-o-holic – screw chocolate and sweets), or not gone out to the mall of all places yesterday with Charlie's family. If I had just found someone to come in for me for an hour or two yesterday. Instead I was just running, running, running from five in the morning until seven at night.

I will go to the doctor about it, because I need to go in for my annual, anyway, get my prescription refilled, and may as well try to get some sort of treatment for the migraines. I guess I'm just a little gun-shy with doctors after all my blood-drawing, hormone-testing, tooth-drilling, and root-canaling from the past year. I'm tired of being poked, prodded, asked questions, and freaked out by what things “might be” by my GP. She just doesn't give a lot of information.

It's time to take action, people. No more of this crap. And don't get me started on the information I looked up just now and how I am trying to convince myself I don't have meningitis or a brain tumor.

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