The past few days I've had my nose stuck in a notebook, pencil in hand, with a graphing calculator on at my side. I spent three hours yesterday in a study group, just trying to prepare for next week's exam. My instructor takes a lot of time out of his personal life to make sure students are getting the material and I didn't want to let him down. Especially after he approached me before class to point out that we needed to get together. It's embarrassing, yes, because I want to be clear that I'm not stupid. I just don't get the concepts we're working on. But I let my dignity go and allowed myself to be directed. I ended up with a pounding headache, but was glad I'd had the day off.
I went in for a second shift on Monday. One of our employees was violently vomiting, so after I came home, he called to see if I could come in and close for him. He said he'd come back to do the paperwork at 7 since I'm not a supervisor and I don't know how to do it. He didn't show up until about 20 after 7, and even then he was throwing up in the parking lot. I ended up calling the manager to have her come back and close, rather than having Matt throw up all over the registers.
The only good news that comes out of all of this is that he took my shift last night which left me open for the study group. I didn't even know they had one. Apparently it's every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon at 3:30, which explains why I've never gone; I close every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm enrolled in Finite math next semester “conditionally” meaning I have to pass this algebra. And even if I technically “pass” with a D, I have to get a C or better to transfer the credits back to IUPUI. The last thing I want to do when I return is take yet another math class.
Charlie's going out of town next week for a conference and I happen to have Wednesday off. This is only because another employee who's full time was only scheduled for 30 hours next week, despite working 5 days. I was also scheduled for 5 days, but with only 23 hours. I need the money, but I need the time more. So he's taking my Wednesday morning and I'll be heading off to the math learning center on campus to cram for the test on Thursday.
Last but not least, my cousin who was in the fatal car accident last summer was sentenced yesterday. He was facing up to 36 years in prison. He plead guilty, though, and will most likely get 11 years. Which, with our criminal justice system, means half that time. I don't know anymore how I feel about any of that. Bad. Not good. Confused. Ethically and morally conflicted.
I feel bad for him because the family of the kid he killed were very forgiving (they're “German Baptists” although I have no idea what this means) and begged the judge to err on the side of mercy. They've been with Grant through the whole thing and every one from their family hugged my aunt, Grant's mom, after the sentencing. On the other hand, my grandparents, the “Wesleyan Christians” (I have no idea what that means, either, nor am I 100% sure that's the sort of church they attend) won't have anything to do with him, and neither will their minister, who my aunt asked if he could get in to the county jail to visit Grant.
I guess Grant wrote a letter of apology to the family and read it in court Thursday. My mom said it was all very emotional. My parents are also a lot more forgiving. When this first happened I thought Grant should burn in hell. Now I feel like I should go visit him in prison. But I don't know what I would say.