I know I've said before that I like staying somewhat busy because I think it keeps me sane — too much free time and I obsess or get a little down. But when I'm really, really busy I go a little crazy, too. I'm definitely an everything-in-moderation gal these days.
This morning I was a total basket case. One of our employees was let go before his last week there, for reasons I'm not completely aware of, and our owner ended up filling in for his shift. Even though the tips were definitely worth it (she didn't think it was very funny when I asked if she wanted to split the tips in case she needed some extra cash – ha, ha), since neither the owner nor the manager takes tips, I was trying to be on my absolute bestest behavior ever. Being a “neighborhood” coffeeshop with a ton of regulars every morning, tons of people knew her and stopped to make idle chit-chat, despite the fact that they were really holding up the lines and everyone else came over to my register. That was a little frustrating because I think it made me look bad.
I feel like I've been on speed all morning, running around trying to make sure everything is perfect and clean so she can't complain about me. I doubt she would, even if I'd screwed up a few times, but I was really feeling pressure to perform well.
So I got home and tried to lay down for a minute since I got up at 5:30 this morning, but my body was just buzzing. I couldn't fall asleep. I've been trying to avoid caffeine ever since the stomach flu thing, but I had two shots of espresso when I got to work. Otherwise I have no idea why I'm so wired. I feel sick and tired, but completely awake at the same time.
In other news Cavan's home after a week at his parents' house and we went to get Indian buffet for lunch. I actually ran into a girl from high school I'd been friends with named Parveen. When she walked in, I knew immediately that it was her although she wasn't wearing the scarf I remember her in for four years. I finally got up the courage to ask if she remembered me, but was disappointed that she didn't seem more excited to see me. We had a weird, stunted, 1-minute coversation and when I left I felt sad — like shouldn't she have cried or hugged me? Then again, I thought, she probably thought the same thing. It was one of those moments where all these feelings and memories came rushing back to me from the years we spent being really close and then I had to remind myself that we haven't actually seen one another in over thirteen years.