I Can't Believe I Have to Pay for Sex on My Birthday

Edit: [This post is the most frequently visited on my blog, since the Gaffigan quote gets searched so much. Out of curiosity, since I haven’t read this since I originally posted it in June of 2006 (as of this writing, it’s July, 2011), I came back see what the fuss was all about it. This could, quite possibly, be one of the most boring blog entries I’ve ever made. Although, to be fair, there are probably hundreds just as boring. In which case, I apologize, Google searcher, for this being where you end up.]

There’s this comedian, Jim Gaffigan, from Indiana who’s got a stand-up routine where he makes fun of the importance we place on birthdays. Dragging yourself around the house moaning “I can’t believe I have to go to work on my birthday; I can’t believe I have to do laundry on my birthday; I can’t believe I have to pay for sex on my birthday.”

Today is Charlie’s 31st birthday and he did go to work. In fact, he went in about an hour and 15 minutes early to stop and put gas in the car and also so that he could take a long lunch. We were supposed to go to a Mexican place in Broad Ripple with Jay & Scott but then Jay had to cover the front desk at work and I had to stay late.
One of our alcoholic employees left work early last night and got sent home this morning, but there wasn’t anyone to cover for him. I had to stay until noon to wait on someone else to show up. Chris may have to stay until 2pm, which will put him into overtime, which really pisses off the owners. So I may have to go back in and cover some more hours.
Charlie also has football practice. I don’t think he told the coach that today was his birthday or perhaps his coach may have suggested staying home tonight. He said he keeps “going back and forth” as to whether or not he’ll go to practice. I said if he wanted to go, it was his choice.
Of course, I’d still like to spend some time with him besides just 6-7:30 tonight. He doesn’t like to eat right before practice so that’s out of the question.
He hasn’t really gotten any presents yet, either. His mom sent a check with a note to “wait till Friday or even Monday” to cash it. My parents are waiting to send something until Friday. I got him a book and had to wait a few days to save up enough in tips to get him anything else.

I’ve planned big birthday bashes almost every year for him. I just didn’t feel like it this year. The parties in the past were also sort of combination housewarmings/birthdays/graduations/insert-other-event here, but generally around Charlie’s birthday. I think at our age it’s probably not that big a deal and rather silly to make a fuss, but I feel guilty that I haven’t done anything “more special” for him. My imagination isn’t working so I have very few ideas.

I guess I’ve got a few hours to think it over.


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